Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Think About What You Are Thinking About

~This post is very personal and honest. I write it publicly only in hopes that my struggles can help someone else that may be feeling the same as I do. Please treat this with respect~
It's no secret that I think about how I look a lot of the time. How vain is that? But it is very rarely positive.
I do it when I see myself in pictures and mirrors. 
(it doesn't help that our apartment complex has floor to ceiling mirrors in the elevators 
that I ride many times a day). Before you say, "take the stairs"...we live on floor 11.

It dawned on me (while I was exercising, mind you) that ALL negative thoughts come from Satan. 
ALL of them (period). 
 I look at myself and see big arms, a tummy and a stocky body and I think, "I hate my body", "I wish I could be different", "I am not good enough because I look like this" and worst of all "I don't deserve _______ because of the way I look". Horrifying that I am a week from my 39th birthday and I still deal with these thoughts. I can only imagine what our tween, teen and young adult daughters are thinking! 
(that is an entire different post)

Are any of these thoughts congruent with a loving Father in Heaven that created us and that loves us for who our Spirit is? No! 
How dare I disrespect His creation! How dare I take His love for me for granted!
I know that Satan in miserable and he uses this tool to make us (especially women) miserable like him. So when I have these thoughts, he celebrates...he wins...I am in his power.

So how do we change these patterns, that in my case are 38 years in the making? I found this excellent article here. It talks about negative thoughts. This applies to any negative thoughts whether it be related to body image, self-worth, sexual immorality, violence, other people (racism, judgement), etc...any negative thoughts are part of Satan's tool for us to be miserable!
I know that I will start to resist the negative thoughts that Satan is using to entangle me. 
How about you?

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