Dealing with Anxiety

Do not be deceived!

I might come across confident and happy and "balanced" on here, but we ALL have our "things". I have anxiety. Not for typical things like public speaking or about what people might think about me or leading a team of other leaders.

I have anxiety for everyday mundane things like being late, travel and variations in my schedule. And I have passed it down to one of my kids, GREAT! I used to have MAJOR anxiety attacks in my SLEEP! It would manifest itself A LOT when I was a teacher and I would do CRAZY things in my sleep. I have learned, over time, to manage my anxiety but it really creeped back up while in China. This is another HUGE reason why I have to exercise and eat cleaner. Did you know processed foods actually contibute to anxiety and depression? And we ALL know that the chemicals produced in exercise help with balancing our hormones and moods.

I have learned that how we DEAL with our "things" is what makes US better! HAPPY MONDAY!

I wasn't always the athlete you see now!

One of my worries is that you see my posts about running, eating healthy and exercise and you think, "I can never do what she does. She has never been where I am at."

I want you to know that I HAVE BEEN THERE. For well over a decade of my life I was very overweight. Food controlled my actions and thoughts. I was depressed and miserable. It affected my relationships, my spirituality and my job. The consistent happiness I felt came from food and, even though t was temporary, I used it more and more often. My children brought me great joy, but that was quickly masked with doubts about deserving THEIR love.

The person you see now, posting and motivating you is that same person. Over time, I have peeled away the layers of self-doubt and with every step in the right direction I have become the person I am today. It does take the decision that YOU ARE BETTER than a life of misery. We ALL deserve happiness, TRUE happiness that comes from inside rather than a pastry.

How? By taking small steps today in the right direction. You don't have to change everything, all at once.
1. Today, decide, that YOU are worth it! Struggling with that? I can help. Message me and I will personally talk to you about it. Because I have been there. And I know how it feels.
2. Once you have decided that you ARE WORTH IT, choose to step on that path. Scared you will fail? Yep! We ALL are! But you won't know if you can succeed unless you take that first step.
3. Take someone's hand. Support was the magic for me to keep me going when I wanted to fail. Who wants to fail? I did! When it got hard and I wanted that instant gratification that food gave me my support helped me to remember WHY I was on this journey. I can be that support for you! I am grateful for a friend that told me she believed in me and didn't know that she was changing the course of my life!

I have been there. Don't ever doubt that! I can help you!  Jen

Coach Confession!

Coach Confession!
Yesterday was a not-so-great day in my food consumption. If you have been following me for a while you know that I have one day a month of pure rebellion...it is my mind that just says "forget it!" I woke up totally normal yesterday and stuck to my schduled workout routine and then.it.hit...around noon. At lunch I chose wisely...but by 3:00pm I was in full "I can eat whatever the heck I want" mode. So I did!

Wanna know what? Frozen chocolate custard with mint chocolate chip Italian ice (when I go, I go all out!) AND a steak burrito from Café Rio! Yep! I rebelled hard! Here is what I learned from it!
- I am done now and totally back on track because I made sure my moments of rebellion were AWESOME!
- My workout this morning was heavy, I think due to that 5 lb burrito in my tummy.
- My "splurge" over the weekend (fro yo) didn't do it for me...if I am gonna splurge I need to make it count. (You may be completely different, or not).
- I did do some things well yesterday and I need to still be happy about that.
Okay, can't wait to eat clean today!
Do you have a rebellious day? How often?

Random Running Thoughts ~ 7.24.13

Run~ 100 minute run

Place~ San Ramon/Dublin, CA while visiting my parents

Playlist~ Combination of 80's and 2013 faves

The following is a sample of random thoughts I had on my run today.

• "Please help the my left leg be okay so that I can complete this run."
• "Adam Levine is so dang sexy. I could listen to him sing all day long." while listening to "Daylight"
• "I can't wait to see hubby on Saturday. It has been way too long."
• "I can run all day at this pace. You know what? Maybe I don't want to be a runner at all. Maybe I will call myself a jogger."
• "I hate the whole pacing part of running. I just like to run and not worry about how fast I am running, especially on these long runs...hmmmm something to think about."
• " I feel so lucky to be able to run in such a pretty location."
• "I don't miss China very much."
• "Today I am going to figure out my budget and go buy new running shoes. I am way overdue."
• "Taking two Advil before my run is totally helping." I am not a Doctor and do not advise you to do this.
• "I can't wait to run at the beach again."
• "This running bra is working good. "
• "I am so glad I wore a hat today. This sun is bright and it is not even 8am."
• "I should've worn sunscreen."
• "I am only at 37 minutes? I've got a long way to go. I better modify my route to make it longer."
• "Oh thank goodness a red light. I need a little stretch of my legs."
• "I can't wait for a cold Gatorade." obsessed about that for the last three miles.
• "I love my parents so much. They are so good to me."
• "I wonder how many miles I will make it to in this 100 minute run." I ended up making it just under 9 miles.
• "My 90 minute play list is repeating, I must be almost done!"
• "I am going to need to stretch."
• "I feel GREAT!"

Stress Week: What You Don't Want To Hear

Sorry about Wednesday's Stress Week post being so late. I was having trouble jumping the great Chinese firewall.

I hope that this weeks look into stress has been beneficial. If you have missed days 1 and 2 you can find them here and here.

I want to tell you a little story. You most likely know that I am an American living in Beijing. It hasn't always been easy. At times it has been rather stressful! I usually don't handle transitions well physically. For example, I gained most of my "baby weight", not while I was pregnant, but after E was born. I weighed more at her first birthday than the day she was born. 

So when I moved to China in the summer of 2011 I was proactive about what to expect. I tried to embrace the experience, while still being cognizant about what I was eating. I figured that all the walking around the city was more than enough exercise. 

Around October I started to really miss home. By the time Thanksgiving hit I was pretty much unhappy and definitely counting down the days until we were going home for Christmas. The China honeymoon had warn off and the only thing keeping me going were my great Beijing friends and looking forward to my visit home.

During that trip home I indulged. I justified it by telling myself that I deserved it for all the sacrifices I was making. I rationalized by telling myself that I wasn't going to get ___________ until my next visit, which wasn't until summer. Exercise was the farthest thing from my mind.  

After that trip I hit rock bottom. Those first few weeks of 2012 were pretty dark for me. Then we joined the Marriott Beijing City Wall health club. At the time I thought I was making that choice to lose a few pounds. But what I gained was so much more! It was a week or so later that I started to recognize some things that I liked about Beijing. Then I actually began to notice beauty around the city. I wasn't having anxiety attacks about talking to taxi drivers anymore. There was a spring in my step. I felt like my emotions were more balanced. 

Coincidence? No way! Some may say that it was a natural acclimation process I was going through. Sure, I know that had some to do with it. But I also know that adding exercise into my daily routine was crucial to my turn around. 

I had heard over and over, just like you probably have, that exercise raises your endorphins (your "happy" neurotransmitters). But I never really believed it until I experienced it first hand. Don't believe me? There are hundreds of studies that prove it. I liked this article. Check this out, "..research has shown that when people who regularly exercise are exposed to stressful situations their heart rate does not rise as much as when people who do not exercise, are exposed to stressors". Wow!

If you're still not convinced, check out this from Harvard Medical School. Part of it reads, "The mental benefits of aerobic exercise have a neurochemical basis. Exercise reduces levels of the body’s stress hormones, such as adrenaline and cortisol. It also stimulates the production of endorphins, the body’s natural painkillers and mood elevators.  Behavioral factors contribute to the emotional benefits of exercise. As your waistline shrinks and your strength and stamina increase, your self-image will improve. You’ll earn a sense of pride and self-confidence. Your renewed vigor will help you succeed in many tasks, and the discipline will help you achieve other lifestyle goals. Exercise and sports also provide opportunities to enjoy some solitude or to make friends and build networks."

We already knew that exercise was good for our physical health. Now we understand why it is so important for our emotional health too. So the next time you are too stressed to lace up those shoes...think again. 
Do you have first hand experience how exercise changed your perspective? As always, we want to hear all about it!

Acceptance

Kalapaki Beach, Kauai

Happy New Year to the few people who read this blog!

We had an amazing time on our holiday break away from Beijing. You can read more about it here, here and here if you are interested.

I've been procrastinating this post because...well...you know...not many good things to report on the health side of things. BUT that is not what I am choosing to focus on right now. More about that at the end.

One of the things that made this particular trip wonderful (besides being with family and the wonderful Hawaiian island) was that I was not self-conscious or insecure a bit about how I looked. What? This is me! I have never, ever have been in that state of mind. Even at my lowest weight, and most fit self, I would be thinking about how things would only be better if I were looking better. I am not sure if it is age or what but it was wonderful to push away any negative feelings if they meandered into my mind. The result was a fun-filled time. Maybe I didn't have rock hard abs in my pictures but I did have a genuine smile of happiness and acceptance. That is better than being a size 6....well, maybe. 

The question remains though...how do you accept yourself without easing off and letting yourself completely go? My goal is to continue to work toward my goals WHILE STILL accepting myself for who I am. Sounds like a no-brainer for some, but for me it is a BIG STEP. You see, I have had a habit of beating myself up for failing or focusing on what I haven't done right, instead of what I have done right. I am working hard to change that.

The good news is that despite my acceptance of my bodacious bod, I also accepted what the scale told me when I returned home. Right off the bat I ask myself, "when is this seesaw going to stop?" Almost immediately I answered it for myself. When I am in the US visiting I way over indulge in all of the things I can't have here in China. I reward myself over and over for my sacrifices. I enhance my visits home with all the yummy (yet SO unhealthy) foods that I miss so much. Until this routine stops, I will continue to be on this cycle of working hard at being healthy and blowing it on my visits home. It is all me, no excuses...that is just the way it is. And I am NOT implying that my weight issues began here in China. That is not the case.

So, fess up time! I gained almost ten pounds from the time the Doctor told me I couldn't work out to the moment I arrived back in Beijing! That is horrendous and proves that I am all or nothing. And my nothing, in this case, was high fat foods all through the month of December. However, I knew that change was imminent. I came back to Beijing and was ready to jump back in to my old ways. I am calling it my 90 day Detox from American Junk Food! I am saying 90 days because I want to have a point where I evaluate how far I've come. Of course I want to detox forever.

The plan: 

go back to the gym daily (today was day 3!)

vary my workouts using cardio, weights and yoga 

count my calories on LoseIt!

focus on being healthy and not being skinny

check in with my "accountability friends" and motivate them too

combat discouragement (the hardest one of all)

Thanks for checking in with me and let's get healthy together!

Update

Thanks for sticking with me friends! Our Internet is still not up and running effectively here in China! All Google sites are locked down on my laptop, despite using a VPN ( a personal network that jumps the Great Firewall). I can, sometimes, get on a Google site on my iPad, as I am now. But it is inconsistent and brief. So here is a quick update about where I am and what I am doing.

After a month of having Traditional Chinese Medical treatments I am not feeling any better with my herniated discs in my neck and back. I had a few enjoyable medical massages, but the pain came right back. I also had acupuncture. Someone asked me before if acupuncture hurt...well, at that time I had only gone to a "salon" to have it done and I couldn't feel a thing. Now I understand that I didn't need it in those spots because doing it at a TCM (traditional Chinese medicine) doctor hurt like heck!!!! He lined them up in my back and down my leg, all the way to my foot. The needles probed right into my nerve! It felt like metal to metal for twenty minutes. Then he'd come in, give them a flick and a twist, and I'd lay there for another ten minutes. I hated it, but was willing to keep at it if it helped.... I didn't feel it did. They now were talking about a soaking technique and me drinking some nasty Chinese stuff. Huh-uh! I am out! Of course, I am being told that I am not giving it enough time and I need to stick with it. I guess I truly am a "westerner" through and through. 

I have hated not exercising! Luckily I have not gained any weight. Hooray, even over Thanksgiving (a perk of living here on Turkey Day I suppose), although I am definitely feeling more jiggly.Tomorrow is Monday and I hope to introduce, little by little, exercise into my daily routine again. This time I am not exercising to lose weight, it is solely for the desire to get moving again. Pray I do not strain anything further. 

With only four weeks to Hawaii I need to get moving AND feel pain free again!

Check In ~ 11.2.12

Challenges of the Week: Cannot exercise. For a complete detail of my trip to a traditional chinese medicine doctor click here. 

Successes of the Week: I have not been able to grocery shop so for two meals I have been virtually stuck at home just eating tidbits here and there. I don't feel I've been overeating at all.

Weigh In: up .4 lbs 

Looking Ahead: I wish I could say that I will "diet" and count calories and just have SlimFast shakes while I am not able to exercise, but I just don't think I will. So why set myself up for failure. 

I will continue to check in here just so that I am conscious and accountable. If I can continue to basically maintain through this set back I will be satisfied. Thanks for sticking with me.

Chinese Medicine

I will be doing a more elaborate write up of my first time experience to a Chinese Doctor on my other blog. Here is an update in regards to my physical health.

I first starting having sciatic nerve issues when I was preggo fourteen years ago! I have finally learned that the nerve is called sciatic, while the diagnosis of issues with it is called sciatica. It was always very confusing to me.

Anyhow, about five years back I actually pursued getting it "fixed", resulting in an MRI. All I got out of that was the Doctor telling me to a) lose some weight b) exercise is key to avoiding symptoms and c) the only way to really fix it is through surgery (no thanks). So since then I have regularly exercised and the symptoms only became unbearable after sitting for more than an hour...hate movie theaters.

The reason I am telling you this is because my current back issue, on the left side this time, is all related. Apparently, the discs in my back are too close and rubbing together causing both issues on each side. The recent left side injury while working out happened because of this. How the Doctor got to this was very, very interesting and, as I said before, I will describe that and the treatment in more detail to come.

For now, though, here are my instructions from the Doctor

• limit my amount of walking
• try not to sit at all, lie down when possible
• no exercise for at least three weeks!!!!
• Never, ever, ever sleep on my stomach again (which is the hardest pill for me to swallow. It is the reason it is now 2:40am and I am awake. It is so uncomfortable to sleep on my back, but something I guess I will have to get used to.)
• Do not get any more massages, they are making it worse. Boo hoo!

I guess this is what turning 40 is all about!

Do you have any chronic health issues? If so, how do you cope?

Check in ~ 10.26.12

Besides being flat on my back this week, it's all about the Giants in the World Series!
I call this picture "Biggest Giants fan in Beijing"!

Challenges of the Week: Injured my back during Saturdays work out. I thought it was a pulled muscle and treated it as such on Sunday with rest, ice, heat, bath, Advil, etc. Was so determined with my new work out regiment that I did it on Monday and then was out for the rest of the week. Got a massage on Tuesday which made it worse, making me think it is a pinched nerve instead of a muscle. Made an appointment with a Chinese Dr.  for next Wednesday. I also hosted an activity at my house and used that excuse to try yummy recipes. Leftovers, despite me sending them home with people, almost got the best of me. Needless to say I was frustrated and off kilter as I laid on my back all week. When my control is taken away my mind automatically goes to a negative place. I saw a picture of myself and became depressed. Looking back, long term, and noticing how short I've come with so much work added to that depression. Sad to not be able to move a pebble... emotional roller coaster for sure!

Successes of the Week: So happy to not gain this week! I have no idea how that is possible, but I am taking it. I was so enthusiastic to begin these new additions to my exercise routine and can't wait to get back to it. When I am not able to exercise it always makes me realize how much I enjoy it and need it for my mental well-being, as well as my physical health.

Weigh-In: down .6 (by the grace of goodness)

Looking Ahead:  Very gun shy about any sort of activity. I am hoping that will change quickly. Praying I can get back to it!

Check In ~ 10.6.12

**special post vacation check-in**

Not a flattering picture but proof
I went to the gym on our Thailand adventure.

Challenges of the Week: Duh, vacations are such a challenge for me! We say that it is a lifestyle change but whenever I am on vacation, or my circumstance changes, I fall right back into my old eating habits. It makes me wonder if there ever can truly be an internal change, where despite your circumstances, you still make healthy choices?  Or will high calorie food always be a temptation to me?...I already know the answer. I am not alone in the fact that food is such a big part of the experience of traveling, hence all the food shows on the travel channel.

Calamari by the pool, pad thai, pineapple rice, chocolate croissants, steak and lobster...I will just stop there.

Successes of the Week: Started each day off with a sensible breakfast of Protein shake, protein bar, etc. Only had breakfast out one day. Exercised a few times at the gym. From the mental health aspect, this trip was absolutely perfect! I am counting the minutes until I can go back. We are so lucky to be able to take vacations like this so often. Grateful to my husband who persuades me to go...can you believe I didn't want to even take this trip? CRAZY!

Weigh In: up 3.4 lbs!

Looking Ahead: Back to it! No time to waste! Back to recording my food and exercising daily. I write this on Monday so just a few days until my next weigh in...here we go!

I couldn't just leave you with a pic from the gym.
Check out this beautiful water!
Family dove while I snorkeled.

For more information about our amazing Thailand vacation, 

click here.

Greatness

Enough Said.

8.5 lbs

That is how much my little souvenir weighs from my summer trip!

Check In Again!

So the scale at the Dr didn't scare me at all. I was totally fine with what it said! I have continued to enjoy my time here at home. We have less than a week before we head back to China.

But a BIG a-ha moment was the seam in my favorite pants split down the back! Uh-oh! I guess I have indulged a bit too much!

The down-side of going back to China is leaving my family and friends behind for another extended time. 

The up-side of going back to China is getting back to working out and eating healthy and in moderation! Bring it on!

I NEED To Run, I NEED to Rest

It is no secret that I will be heading back to the US for the summer in just a couple of weeks...Hooray! It was all set that I would be finishing my 10K training exactly when I would be heading west (literally west, since we will be stopping in Dubai and London first). The program consists of four days of running. Two Mondays ago I just really wasn't feeling optimistic about my 35 minute run so I decided to ease into the week by doing the elliptical and bike instead. I ended up having a great running week on Tue, Wed, Thur and Fri!

Until the next Monday came around and I went to run and yikes!!! Pain in my left calf muscle. Have you ever felt that pain? The one that if you take another step it feels like it will tear? Why did this happen? I had just walked twenty minutes to the gym and felt no pain at all? I hopped onto the elliptical, feeling no pain again. Tuesday I tried again...same thing. By Wednesday I had done some research about strained calves and decided to take the week off from running. I decided to do the bike, elliptical and stairclimber instead (for cardio).

I remembered the week prior, when I had run four days in a row, that my calves felt tight. I kept telling myself to go get a massage (remember I am in China and they are cheap!) but I never got around to it. I did try to stretch more diligently. Looking back I can see that I should've ran for two days and rested for one in between, exactly what the training program recommends. I was too dead set on keeping to my weekly schedule, which was counter productive since I had to take an entire week off anyway. The bright side of that is I will now have a week left instead of being done and being tempted to abandon running altogether while I am home...I will be motivated to finish and then start the Half Training Program (that is the plan). I also accredit my strain from needing new running shoes. I buy my running shoes in the states, while home, and I know they are overdue. Trust me, going to the running store is first on my list of to do's in California! I pray they can hold out for three more weeks.

So, now I know I need to rest when I am supposed to. It is hard for me to do this. I panic that my habit will break overnight. So on my rest days I usually do the elliptical, which uses different muscles than running. Before you sign me up for an exercise anonymous group you should know I only sometimes exercise on Saturdays and never exercise on Sundays. Funny how I don't look like I exercise that much.

I realized a few things about myself the week I couldn't run. First...I need running! Even though I dread it and it is hard for me, it keeps me progressing. I got pretty bored doing the machines. I also got lazy because I wasn't being pushed to progress. Running, for me, boosts my self confidence so much! I found myself having more self-doubt in other areas of my life. When those negative feelings try to creep in at other times I can say to myself, "I don't suck because I ran today".  It doesn't sound as convincing when you substitute "run" for "exercised", even though I shouldn't have those negative thoughts anyway (but I do)! Also, even though I kept a strict work out schedule, I wasn't as motivated to eat as healthy. In my head, fueling my body with nutrients for running is clearer than fueling my body for the elliptical. Again, it probably shouldn't be different but, to me, it is.

The bottom line...I NEED to run to keep sane. 

But I also NEED to rest to keep healthy.

Vacations- A set back to your goal. Or are they?

We just returned from a nice relaxing jaunt to Yangshuo (in southern China). It was only four days so I wasn't too worried about straying too far off of my health routine to do real damage. 

As a matter of fact, right before our trip I had really hit a groove. I was running short runs even on my "non-run days", incorporating strength training into most work outs,  and I was somewhat pleased with my food choices. All in all I was feeling pretty good about my progress UNTIL . . .

. . . I saw pictures, like the one above, of myself on the trip! I am embarrassed to even post this pic but something deep inside tells me I should for motivational purposes. My arms are my number 1 trouble spot on my entire body, although that double chin is somewhere in the top ten! Nevertheless, seeing pictures of myself really got me down...like really down. I think because I have worked so hard, for a substantial amount of time, it really makes it all the worse than if I looked like that without even putting any effort in.

BUT 

& it is a big but...

Now that I am back from my trip, and back at the gym, I feel like I am even more motivated now because I DO NOT want to look like that on our next vacation! or ever! Instead of giving up, pics like that one just make me want to work harder and eat healthier. As a matter of fact, I have started drinking "green smoothies"!

With every work out I do, I am one step closer to being healthy.

With every healthy meal I eat, I am one step closer to being healthy.

Girl Scout Cookies- "it's for the kids!"

Those sweet, cute little Girl Scouts sure are smart!!

Year in and year out we all fork out too much money for too little of cookies!

Why?

Because they are GIRL SCOUT COOKIES! Don't say you buy them to support a good cause...and we all know there are similar knock-offs in the grocery store that we can get year round!

I think it is the pure fact that they are a limited time offer!

AND they also make the packages so small that you eat one whole row in one sitting! Then you buy another box!

Smarty pants!

My last rant about these little morsels of pleasure are I can make it (well sometimes) through events and pass up yummy, decadent masterpieces by chefs of all calibers...but then I cave on GIRL SCOUT COOKIES?

So what is your favorite?

Ouch & Yum!

I never thought I'd hear myself say, "I wish I could exercise!" But you know how it is, when you can't do something that is all you want to do! Most of you who read this blog (a few of you) know that I tore my calf muscle. I've always been afraid of injury but I did push it (something about hearing Jillian Michael's voice in my head calling me weak). I felt it strained but I was so intent on my half-marathon training program I did not baby it as much as I should've. Plus...I got into a great routine on my off running days with a friend! So on and on I went until right smack in the middle of a 60 minute run I tore it. Singeing pain from the back of my calf up to my hamstring made me hobble home. I stayed off of it for over 24 hours thinking that would be enough. Then, while stepping off of a curb, I tore it again. Okay, okay I stayed off of it and iced it for a good 3,4,5 days. Now I am limping and being very cautious.

So what happens to me when I stop exercising? I also stop making healthy choices! It is that "all or nothing" characteristic that I am constantly battling. So what do I crave nowadays??? Since it is Fall...a Starbucks Pumpkin Scone!

Between this and a tall nonfat peppermint hot chocolate! Just to let you know, because I needed to log it, here are the official calories of my breakfast this morning! Hey, at least I didn't choose this which was very tempting! Is it any wonder why I am now feeling pudgy!

• Tall non-fat no whipped cream peppermint hot chocolate- 190 cal
• pumpkin scone- the nutritional value was not up on the website, so I used maple oat pecan scone for 440 cal.

And here is a recipe (I have not tried it yet) if you get the desire to try this at home.

Half Marathon!

The sting is beginning to wear off...so I can talk about it (i.e. blog about it)now.

This past Saturday I ran my first half marathon! (13.1 miles) I learned many things from this experience. All in all I did not have the sense of accomplishment I had from my 10k's or even a 10 mile run around town, more about why later. First some pics...

All smiles before-hand

barely smiling afterward

Here are some things I learned that maybe you can learn from too-

• despite early registration you still may not get a shirt (I have faith that they really will mail me one)
• do not underestimate eating the night before a race, or even the morning of. My body shut down early on and the lack of nutrients was why.
• on long runs carry water, even when they say they have ample aid stations. This race ran out of cups at the last four aid stations. This also hurt my performance.
• I should not have set my personal standards so high. I said, "I just want to finish" but in my mind I was saying "I want to run the entire way". After I had to walk briefly I felt defeated and the negative talk set in.
• running races plays major mind games with me! If I could just focus on myself instead of all the other runners around me I may do just fine.
• although in my heart I want supporters waiting for me at the finish line I just really, really felt guilty about how long they had to wait...doing nothing....while I ran.
• the mind endurance is far more difficult than the physical endurance.
• natural childbirth was easier than this for me.
• I thought I wanted to run a marathon, but now I am not so sure...we will see!
• friends can get you through anything, these ladies saw me at quite a low point!

Anyone out there have a similar experience to mine? Anyone?

State of Mind

~We've all heard of the "power of positive thinking". But I'd like to talk about the "power of negative thinking". I know it is not as fun to talk about, but nevertheless we NEED to discuss it.
~The challenges that we face usually are gauged on how we look or react to a situation. The days when I am having a bad run it is because I am saying things like, "this hurts today." or "I can't do it" or "How much longer?"
~The last few weeks I have been in a huge rut. My rut began in my mind. My attitude towards people and about things became tense. I totally think it stems from hormones but that is beside the point. I definately noticed that when my attitude changed my physical health changed as well. Which is the chicken? Which is the egg? It is just a vicious cycle. You know what I mean...we are down so we rest and not exercise. Then we feel guilty because we didn't exercise and feel more down. Or we eat a treat because we think it will make us feel better and then we feel discouraged that we blew it and feel worse...the vicious cycle!
~ Two Saturday's ago I ran 9 miles...last Saturday I made it to 7, but barely. I feel as though I've gone back to being a beginner. My eating has suffered alot. When I used to look at situations as a hurdle to jump over and feel success from, now I look at it in rebellion and say, "why shouldn't I be able to eat that?" or "what can really happen if I eat that?" This is just SILLY talk, I know! I know what will happen if I do it, exactly what happened before!
~ I guess what I am trying to say is when our "moons" are aligned (not literally) things go smoothly...but sometimes things get off. The true challenge is how to ride through the non-alignment and get back on track!
UPDATE- Moments after I posted this self-pitiful post I was literally sent two things that really answered some concerns of mine!

1. This article- 5 Ways To Run Past your Mental Blocks was waiting for me in my email inbox! So great!
2. This weeks The Biggest Loser was on my DVR- Holy Cow! I haven't even gotten through the entire episode and I have audio recorded Bob's "pep talk" and Jillian's "motivation" to Victoria about running. I needed to hear both of those things! Also, when Suze Orman told Koli he wouldn't win because he didn't count calories...now that is motivation!

Despite this being a sensitive and personal post, I really felt others go through the same things I do. Please share any strategies that have helped you get through your slumps!

PS- my alarm is set for 5am and my running clothes are out :)