Sunday, January 11, 2009

~ confessions of a perfectionist~

I have been contemplating some of my behaviors lately. Much of this has little to do with weight, but I can always see a relation somewhere, be patient with me on this one though. When I do not do something completely to the end I feel a sense of anxiety. Does anyone out there know what I am talking about? Let me see if these can explain a bit better:
  • staying up until 3 am to finish an entire event or vacation scrapbooking
  • reading a novel in a few days and neglecting ALL of my responsibilities to do it
  • cleaning out every single closet and drawer in our entire house in a ten day span

These are just a few examples to illustrate that I just HATE starting something and not finishing it. For those of you who think I am nuts, I truly am not because I often procrastinate on things if I cannot start and finish them in the same day. Here are some thoughts I've had about this.

  • Am I just really impatient or need instant gratification?
  • Is delayed gratification worth the anxiety it gives me to not complete a task?
  • Guilt really does not play a part, it truly is anxiety.
  • Why does it have to be all or nothing?

These thoughts have led me to the whole idea of obedience. Taking all of the above things into consideration, I wonder how this behavior translates into my spirituality. Many of you know that I am LDS. I have not always been a member of this church, but I truly love our Savior, Jesus Christ and His gospel. When it comes to me practicing my religion I have tried my very best to be obedient. I am not claiming to be perfect at all. When I am asked to do something; whether it be a calling, scripture study, etc. I take it very seriously. The thought crosses my mind though, "is it in vain?" Am I being obedient because of the anxiety I feel to not do something completely?

So here is where it relates to my health and weight?

~Do you have an "all or nothing" attitude about health and habits?~

~Do you consider yourself a perfectionist?~

~Why can I not apply the same behaviors to eating well?~

All insight is welcome, except mean things that call me crazy!

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1 comment:

liz said...

I guess this could apply to weight, but that isn't really my intent. What if you set out to do something and made smaller goals along the way. Like - wanting to read the Book of Mormon this year. You wouldn't read it in one night or a couple days?? (or maybe you would). My point - set small goals and achieve those. Read a chapter a day. If in your mind you're going to clean out one closet today then all of the closets don't have to be done; just that one.

BTW - I'm a shortcut person. Anything I can cut a corner on I do. I'm sure I do this when it comes to health.

January 13, 2009 at 9:54 AM

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