Acceptance

Kalapaki Beach, Kauai

Happy New Year to the few people who read this blog!

We had an amazing time on our holiday break away from Beijing. You can read more about it here, here and here if you are interested.

I've been procrastinating this post because...well...you know...not many good things to report on the health side of things. BUT that is not what I am choosing to focus on right now. More about that at the end.

One of the things that made this particular trip wonderful (besides being with family and the wonderful Hawaiian island) was that I was not self-conscious or insecure a bit about how I looked. What? This is me! I have never, ever have been in that state of mind. Even at my lowest weight, and most fit self, I would be thinking about how things would only be better if I were looking better. I am not sure if it is age or what but it was wonderful to push away any negative feelings if they meandered into my mind. The result was a fun-filled time. Maybe I didn't have rock hard abs in my pictures but I did have a genuine smile of happiness and acceptance. That is better than being a size 6....well, maybe. 

The question remains though...how do you accept yourself without easing off and letting yourself completely go? My goal is to continue to work toward my goals WHILE STILL accepting myself for who I am. Sounds like a no-brainer for some, but for me it is a BIG STEP. You see, I have had a habit of beating myself up for failing or focusing on what I haven't done right, instead of what I have done right. I am working hard to change that.

The good news is that despite my acceptance of my bodacious bod, I also accepted what the scale told me when I returned home. Right off the bat I ask myself, "when is this seesaw going to stop?" Almost immediately I answered it for myself. When I am in the US visiting I way over indulge in all of the things I can't have here in China. I reward myself over and over for my sacrifices. I enhance my visits home with all the yummy (yet SO unhealthy) foods that I miss so much. Until this routine stops, I will continue to be on this cycle of working hard at being healthy and blowing it on my visits home. It is all me, no excuses...that is just the way it is. And I am NOT implying that my weight issues began here in China. That is not the case.

So, fess up time! I gained almost ten pounds from the time the Doctor told me I couldn't work out to the moment I arrived back in Beijing! That is horrendous and proves that I am all or nothing. And my nothing, in this case, was high fat foods all through the month of December. However, I knew that change was imminent. I came back to Beijing and was ready to jump back in to my old ways. I am calling it my 90 day Detox from American Junk Food! I am saying 90 days because I want to have a point where I evaluate how far I've come. Of course I want to detox forever.

The plan: 

go back to the gym daily (today was day 3!)

vary my workouts using cardio, weights and yoga 

count my calories on LoseIt!

focus on being healthy and not being skinny

check in with my "accountability friends" and motivate them too

combat discouragement (the hardest one of all)

Thanks for checking in with me and let's get healthy together!